Dear Durian, aka Jackfruit aka that stinky thing in Asian supermarkets:
Every time I bite into your sweet creamy flesh it's like being born again, because your consistency is that of a placenta. Maybe that was a bit overdoing it but JEEZ I wish you would use some deodorant, it really isn't that difficult. In fact, the last time I tried to take you on a long-distance trip they wouldn't even let you on the airplane. I had to throw you away until at long last I found you again in my local...
People have made your smell a big deal. Truth be told, when I'm in humid Singapore, I often find myself wondering whether I'm smelling you or someone's body odor--and yet it doesn't bother me. Let's focus on what's important, here: you taste best when you are smelly. You are divine.
When you emerge in pieces from the fridge, cold and moist, I choose your best bits, your slightly wrinkled, two seed covered flesh.
I need to re-hydrate after consuming you. Sometimes, I even gargle...
Dear Durian,
Because you smell like a leaking gas line, you once caused a recording studio to get broken into and a lot of equipment destroyed by the fire department when your peel was discarded in a trash can. My friends lost all their recordings because the studio's owner was so angry he wouldn't speak to them again.
Thank you for nothing.
